Over the last few days, I've been organizing things. Organizing my sewing room/painting area/hobby room. Organized my office, organized books, etc, etc, etc. While I'm organizing it all, I start to think "wouldn't it be nice if I could organize everything this way? Have everything all nice and neat and tied up in nice little labeled bundles and be able to stand back and look at it and say there, there it is everything in it's place."
Then I realized, no I don't want a labeled organized life, I like the unexpected, I like the chaos of family and life and I would be bored to tears if every time I turned around I knew exactly what was coming and what had been was what I had planned.
The ebb and flow of life, no matter how frustrating or chaotic, or heartbreaking, is what makes our lives interesting. It is what gives our lives texture and we, as humans, character. Yes, there are things I wish I never had to go through, and yes, there are things I'd love to have changed, but from each one of these events, whether I could see it at the time or I realize it years later, I have learnt something, or realized something about myself and the strengths and character traits we all posses. Each and every one of these things has left its mark on me, whether in the lines on my face, or in my soul, they are what makes me, me, and I have grown to cherish them no matter how painful.
My youngest daughter being born deaf and blind. Did I plan that? Did I wish for it?
Of course not, on both counts. Do I regret it? Yes, for her, because she will never see the beauty I see in the way I see it, just as I will never see the beauty in the world as she sees it, and she does see beauty and joy and love and all the wonderful things we, as sighted and hearing individuals, do. However, she also has been blessed with a way of seeing things as they are, not as preconceived or as others want us to see them. She sees with an open, honest heart. She has a way of knowing when she is in the company of those who are genuine and those who are not. A talent, I must say, I do not always possess.
The reason I'm telling you these things are many, but I guess it can be best summed up in this little story of my daughter and this time of year.
When she was just over a year old, I had a major breakthrough. I had been running around from the time she was born trying to organize and fix things, trying to mend what wasn't fixable and change things that couldn't be fixed, or that didn't need to be fixed. Running from one doctor to the next, trying to change the reality of her life. To doctors, she was an interesting case. To me, she was a child I needed to find the answers for, and reasons why, and how I was going to make it right for her, because I had somehow failed. I HAD SOMEHOW FAILED. Not what was best for Nicole or what Nicole wanted, but what I wanted.
In that year, I had been afraid to love her, for fear I would lose her. Meanwhile, her sister and brother, who where 11 months older, treated her and played with "Coco" as if everything was perfectly fine, and Nicole responded in kind.
We had just put our Christmas tree up, and I'm standing there holding my daughter, cradling her against my chest, staring at the tree and the tears began to roll down my face. Rocking and cradling her, I'm thinking she will never see this beauty, she will never know the joy of Christmas; Just then, she put her little hand up on my cheek, and smiled her little toothless smile, and I melted and knew that it would be okay. Okay, she didn't see it the way I did, but in her own way, she was happy and content, and saw what she needed to see, and so did I.
Now on to something a little less serious, but seriously good.
Apple Berry Crumble
A "berry" good dessert, delicious in any season.
Makes 10 serving
Cost Per Serving: 0.61
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 40 minutes
8 large tart apples, peeled, cored and thinly sliced
2 Tbsp (30 ml) lemon juice
3/4 cup (180 ml) sugar
2 tsp (10 ml) Epicure's Spices for Fruit Crumble
1/4 cup (60 ml) berries – your choice
1 1/4 cups (310 ml) all-purpose flour
1/2 cup (125 ml) oat flakes
3/4 cup (180 ml) brown sugar
1/2 cup (125 ml) butter
1. Preheat oven to 375° F (190° C).
2. Toss apples with lemon juice. Add sugar, Spices for Fruit Crumble, and berries. Toss to coat and spoon into a deep pie dish or an oven-proof baking dish.
3. Combine flour, oats and brown sugar in a mixing bowl. Using a pastry blender, cut in butter until mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle evenly over apples.
4. Bake 40 minutes.
Per Serving : Calories 340, Fat 10 g (Saturated 6 g, Trans 0.3 g), Cholesterol 25 mg, Sodium 75 mg, Carbohydrate 64 g (Fibre 4 g, Sugars 44 g), Protein 3 g.
Here is a organizational tip you might find handy.
|How to store Cats|
Have a great day and keep smiling, talk to you soon.